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I want him to know I’m here for him and that I’m not going anywhere, even though it’s tough. Here are a few things to consider: First, remember that his situation is tough for him (independent of whether or not he’s in a relationship).
But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.MORE: What to Do When a Guy Withdraws With that said, when a guy is under a lot of emotional or psychological stress, he will want to withdraw socially until he’s figured out his situation.
Guys don’t like to be around people when they don’t think they’re at the top of their game. So just remember that his withdrawing is a result of him not wanting to appear weak or out of control and just allow him space for that.
Put simply, a needy person doesn’t feel good inside and then saddles the other person with the responsibility to make them feel better… whoops, “my battery died, sorry I didn’t call you back last night.” Nobody’s perfect. When you boil it all down, neediness is not some set of behaviors. When a person takes on the belief that another person is responsible for their happiness, their sense of well-being and their sense of self-esteem, then it’s guaranteed that they’re going to act needy as a result of that mindset.